One of the keys to surviving law school is getting really good at time management skills. If you can squeeze more than eating, sleeping, and studying into your schedule, you’re just asking for a reality check. In an extreme example of a law student having too much damned time on her hands, her extracurricular activities have her facing criminal charges.
Remember: the first rule of false flagging is that if you think you’re smart enough to get away with it, you probably haven’t been studying Crim Law hard enough.
New Jersey Globe has coverage:
A 26-year-old Ocean City woman who claimed she was brutally assaulted because she worked for Rep. Jeff Van Drew (R-Ocean City) instead orchestrated the entire incident — paying a scarification artist to wound her and staging the scene with zip ties and “Trump Whore” written on her stomach and “Van Drew is a racist” on her back, federal prosecutors alleged today.
Natalie Greene, a Rutgers law student, allegedly concocted the hoax in July, with an accomplice making a late-night 911 call to report that she had been ambushed by three men on a nature trail in Egg Harbor Township. Police officers found Greene bound with black zip ties, her shirt pulled over her head, and the political slurs scrawled across her torso. She told police that her supposed attackers had a gun and threatened to shoot her, and struck her in the head.
Prosecutors say nearly every detail was fabricated.
Oh look, she did the thing!
If there was any risk that she was actually attacked, I’d avoid posting the photos but I think that it’s fair game to see the lengths she was willing to go to now that there’s strong evidence that she was just LARPing:
Investigators should have realized something was off once they noticed that the attacker’s wounds looked like they were made by a cat with a strong fascination with symmetrical lines. I mean really, an extended knife attack with no stab wounds or deep gashes? The only way something like this would happen without being staged is if you pissed off a pit master who just got finished prepping his pulled pork.
Wait, I probably shouldn’t be giving people any bear claw fraud ideas.
After the investigation started, they found extra matching zip ties in the “victim’s” car, along with video footage of her going to buy zip ties from a dollar store. It also didn’t help that her stories didn’t match up with her co-conspirator. You’d think a law student and her accomplice would be better about memorizing the details of a fact pattern before the big cold call.
Greene was charged with one count of conspiracy to convey false statements and hoaxes and one count of making false statements to federal law enforcement. And while I’m no doctor, I hope that she gets whatever mental health issues addressed that made her think doing this was a good idea — there have to be better ways of explaining away a regrettable $500 body modification than going full Jussie Smollett.
Ex-Van Drew Staffer Staged Fake Attack, Writing ‘Trump Whore’ Across Her Stomach And Alleging Men Held Her Down And Cut Her Body [New Jersey Globe]
Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s . He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who is learning to swim, is interested in critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.
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